MIRACLES II

THE ASHRAM

My bag was packed and I ventured out on a life-transforming journey: a journey first into the never-before-seen forests of Aravali and then a journey that transcended my mind and soul.

In a jeep, there were eight of us. My friend’s cousins were also accompanying us. All were in their teens. In fact, some were younger than me. The jeep crossed the Transport Nagar, took a left turn and passed the Sisodia Rani Ka Bagh. Then it entered the valley filled with dense forests. Around fifteen minutes later, our jeep reached the threshold of a place known as ‘Dhammathali’(धम्मथली). There was a board which declared – “Vipassana Centre” (विपश्यना केंद्र). My friends had been to this place earlier and described how they had had fun when they were here the last time.

Though everything had happened quite fast in the last two hours, I was delighted.

Inside, we went to an office where registration was taking place. And all of a sudden, my heart came in my mouth for two shocking revelations dawned on me. There was a pamphlet which said:

One, we would not be given any dinner.

What the hell!

Two, we would have to observe आर्य-मौन (Noble Silence).

God, what is that?

One of the helpers, who are called the Dhammasevakas said, “That instruction is for an ‘adult camp’. You are in a ‘teenager camp’. You will get your dinner for sure. Don’t worry about it.”

“But, what about this आर्य-मौन ,” I said.

 “That my dear friend you will have to follow.”

I don’t remember what exactly he said to convince me; but I agreed to stay on. In fact, it seemed stupid to go back when all my friends including their younger siblings were staying. May be they were aware of what was to come, and chose to hide the fact from me deliberately. May be they themselves were not aware of it.  I have never asked them about it.

But then, what was that talk about playing cricket and hide-and-seek?

Later, someone informed me that earlier they had participated in a Children’s camp, which is 3 day long, and wherein the rules are less strict. Thus, they could play as well.

God, what is this place? Why am I here? 

DAILY CHORES

After registration, we were allotted separate rooms. Each room was a crude brick room with only whitewash and no paint. The size of a room was around 7-by-7 feet, with stone almirah and an attached bathroom. Interestingly, the room had only a single fan and none of the rooms had water-coolers. The same day, the morning newspaper had declared temperature as 45°C. I don’t remember my exact reaction. I was worried, but had no choice.

After an initial introduction to the meditation camp, we went to bed at 9 o’clock.

The first night was horrible. I could not sleep the whole night. The fan ran at its full-speed, yet I did not get any relief from the heat. Because the room had got heated in the day, the mattress was hot too. Even after pouring water on the mattress, the heat was unbearable. The mattress was kept on a crude wooden bed. After some hours, I stood up; put the mattress on the floor and tried to sleep on the wooden bed. But, even that did not help. Somehow night passed and morning came, when a dhammasevaka came in front of my room ringing a bell and requested me to get up.

Tired from the ordeal, I stepped out in the fresh morning air and took a deep breath. The fresh air that rushed in my lungs was rejuvenating and the landscape that was imprinted on my mind through the eye made me forget the tribulations of night.

Being in a forest, I witnessed some of the most amazing events. Simultaneously, 5-6 peacocks roaming about here and there. The volume of the chirping of a variety of birds seemed quite high. But, it was melodious and soothing. And, to add the pleasure was the breeze that ran through my clothes and made them sway.

Waking up early in the morning has its own pleasure, which only those who get up early can experience.

We gathered in the meditation hall and meditated for around half an hour. At 6 o’clock, we had breakfast which comprised of milk, fruits, porridge and some other things also (which I am unable to recall). It was wholesome and I enjoyed having the सात्विक भोजन | After having our meal, we had to wash our dishes also – an experience I had for the first time.

The daily itinerary for the 7 days was something like this:

(It is not an accurate schedule. I’m simply reconstructing it from my memory.)

5:15                      Wake up

5:30 – 6:00           Meditation Session

6:00 – 6:30           Breakfast

6:30 – 8:00           Time to clean room and take a bath        

8:00 – 12:00         Meditation sessions and lecture by Shri Goenkaji

12:00                    Lunch

12:30 – 2:00         Rest

2:00 – 4:30           Meditation sessions

4:30 – 5:00           Tea break

5:00 – 6:00           Time to walk

6:00 – 9:00           Meditation sessions + dinner + lecture by Shri Goenkaji

In the camp, everything was banned except the items of daily need. We were not supposed to carry anything like books/comics, cellphones, music-players etc. Only things that were allowed inside the camp were the ones which we needed to complete our daily chores. My cellphone was taken and locked inside the locker for 7 days. Of course, when one is practicing आर्य-मौन, cellphone is of no use. However, books and music can provide some solace. But, that too was not allowed.

The implications of all these restrictions would be understood later in the lecture by Shri S.N.Goenkaji.

THE MEDITATION - I

“Plant the seed of meditation and reap the fruit of peace of mind”
Unknown

Day 1 began and we were taught a meditation practice known as ‘aanapana’. According to the practice, we had to focus our mind on our breathing. And, that’s it.

Sounds simple! Does it not?

As soon as I started the practice of the technique, I discovered that it was not as easy as it sounded. It was very hard for me to keep my mind focused at one place. Thoughts started pouring in.

If I were not here, I would have watched a movie; I would have gone to play cricket; I would have eaten mom-made food. When I go out of this place, I will do this thing and that thing...

My mind kept wandering here and there. They kept reminding us that we had to focus our attention on our breath: Through my nostrils I am taking air in, I am releasing air out...air in...air out...air in...air out...

The explanation we received for the चंचल nature of mind was – ‘In life, most of the times we live either in the past or the future. We rarely live in the present. When you are being asked to focus your attention on your breath, you are simply practicing to live in the present. It is a tough thing. And, that is why you are here. Your mind is untrained and you need to train it.’

The 'aanapana' sessions lasted for an hour, after which we got a 10 minute break, and then again we were back to the meditation hall for the next session. We were told that we didn’t have to feel exasperated in case we could not concentrate. 

'Just observe the fact that your mind is not trained and is wandering away somewhere. As soon as you realize that it has wandered away, bring your attention back to your breath. Stay objective and equanimous.' 

With slight modifications each day, this practice continues for the first three days.

I thought, 'Okaaay! But, why would I need that practice? My life is anyways good. The past memories remind me of the good days and the future aspirations make me work hard.'

I was told, 'You will understand this better, when you learn a more advanced meditation technique – Vipassana. It will tell you the ultimate truth about why humans suffer. And, with that wisdom you will lead a happier life.'

I realized that I was not learning Vipassana at the moment. But, it was a preparation. I was being prepared to receive the ancient wisdom. 

THE ESCAPISM THAT GRIPPED ME

The day one was quite tough. I had just left the comfort of my home and all the sudden changes were too much for me. Whatever they said about the meditation seemed too difficult to follow. And, after lunch I went to our Guruji and told him literally crying, “I want to go back home.”

He was an old man of around 60 and was clad in white kurta-payjama. He told me, “देखो बेटा! ये तुम्हारा मन है | तुमने कभी इस पर control नहीं किया है ना, इसीलिए ये तुम्हारा विरोध कर रहा है |” (Its your mind revolting against you. You have never learnt to control it earlier in life. And, now it does not want to be controlled.)

“नहीं सर, में यहाँ नहीं रह सकता, मुझे घर जाना है |.” (No Sir. I can’t stay here any longer. I have to go home.)

He smiled gracefully and continued, “देखो ये एक जंग की तरह है - तुम और तुम्हारे मन में | क्या तुम अपने मन से हार जाना चाहते हो ?” (See, its like a war between you and your mind. Do you want to be defeated by your mind?)

Though tears still dropped from my eyes, I told him that I agreed with what he said, but at the moment I needed to be taken back home. In no way I could stay there.  I could not even sleep at night.

When I told this to him, he said, “ ये तो बहुत अच्छी बात है | तुम रात को भी अपनी breathing पर focus कर सकते हो |”

God, where am I? I am not able to sleep and as a solution, he asks me to focus on breath?

He told me some more things to encourage me, ‘मन बहुत चंचल होता है | जो इंसान उस पर काबू पा लेता है ,वो जीवन में बहुत उचाइयां छूता है |’

The conversation went on for around 20 minutes and he was through logic and some encouragement successful in convincing me to go back and continue.

Then on the third day I was once again struck with home-sickness. This time again, Guruji tried to calm me down. But, this time I had come prepared with tools. 

Whatever he may say today, I will use साम-दाम-दंड-भेद and go back home, I had thought. 

I love my parents and thus I need to be with them. I miss them. I had told him. 

And, my tears were even more intense. I was determined. Whatever happens today I go back home. How can I live in this place? Frustration was intense. As Guruji found it difficult to convince me this time, he asked another Guruji. The other Guruji was a young man, about 32 years old. He began convincing me against my decision. I do not remember exactly what I told him and what he told me. But, we talked for around an hour and at last I was convinced to stay back. And, that was the end of my escapist tendencies.

Although ‘maun’ had to be observed strictly, we did break some rules. We used to talk when the Dhammasevakas were not around. I realized that I was not the only one who felt tortured. All of them were finding the situation difficult. However, there was one who said, ‘कल आधी रात को में उठ गया था, और बिस्तर पर बैठकर अपने बाल नोच रहा था | सोच रहा था कि में यहाँ क्यूँ आ गया | दिमाग ख़राब हो गया था मेरा, जो यहाँ आने के लिए हाँ कह दिया |’

I told him, ‘मेने तो पूरी कोशिश करली है यार, लेकिन ये लोग अपने को यहाँ से जाने नहीं देंगे | अब और कोई रास्ता नहीं, अपने को यहाँ सातवे दिन तक रहना ही होगा |’

...to be continued

(After overcoming the escapist tendencies, it was my turn to receive the true wisdom and that is -Vipassana. The meditation was discovered by a great super-scientist and philosopher. The next episode talks about this super-scientist and how his revelations transformed the world. It enhances your understanding of happiness and suffering. It also talks about how meditation is a real science with definite laws and tangible effects. And, it presents you the path following which you can encounter the potential God that resides within each one of us.)